late night stipulations

on paper, on facebook, on whateverthefuckyouwant, my life looks shiny and dandy.  i love being an actor, because i can fucking fool almost everybody that my life is indeed shiny and dandy.
i've got to have a sense of humor, or else i'd be the most melancholy person ever.  and i will NOT glorify the depressed artist stereotype.
the tricky thing is, my life really is great, if you think about it, but it's totally not at the same time.  that doesn't even remotely make any sense--i am well aware of that--but somehow it is my reality.
i've reached a strange point in my life, a point where i have shed off layers and grown new, thick, durable, wise skin. i'll tell you right now, i'm a hell of a lot smarter than i was even 6 months ago.  but my hunger for success has literally been infused in my soul like a goddamn tumor and it is all i can think about.  i don't want any of this petty lifestyle shit.  i am sammy fucking rios and i know i've got a fuckload of talent and insight and creativity that needs to be unleashed.  college is great, i don't regret one bit of it, but i can't say i'll be sad when i graduate.  it's time for a change in my life.  i just have to kill it this last year.  FUCKING KILL IT.

i know i've already bitten off more than i can chew for this fall semester, including:

-being a T.A. for a lower level theatre class
-taking an independent study with Will Power
-being in Crave
-directing How To Disappear Completely And Never Be Found
-being in DTC's Christmas Carol
-working in the recruiting office
-applying for a Meadow's Exploration Award
-directing Yours Truly

...lord, and this is before the semester has even started.  once it starts, things will only pile on.  i drive myself crazy with how much i do.  but i drive myself crazy with nothing to do.  the second one is worse.  obviously.
as far as matters of the heart go, i really need to be single for a while.  although i find comfort in the arms of a few lucky (yeah, i said it) people, it makes you appreciate it more when you don't constantly have that comfort.  also, i don't settle.  i don't waste my time.  and i will not have my heart broken again (not if i can help it.)  ha, i make myself laugh.  "i will not have my heart broken."  i have no right to say that; who the fuck HAS their heart broken by choice?

things i need to do/maintain:

-eat (as crazy as that sounds, waking up at 2 pm = no breakfast, no lunch, junk food that just meshes into beer and dinner, which brings me to my next point:)
-not wake up at 2 pm
-outline Yours Truly
-tone up my body
-keep in contact with those i care about (i'm bad about that.)
-keep trying to grow my hair out/NOT chop it off
-save up enough money for my trips to kentucky/florida/california
-GO THROUGH ALL MY FUCKING CLOTHES AND SELL ALL THE SHIT I DON'T WEAR
-crack down on music
-make a website for myself (procrastinating big time on that...)
-BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING