24 February 2009

This is the part where my fairy godmother tells me what to do.

Röyksopp is definitely worth your time. One of the best electronic artists out there, in my humble opinion, especially In Space and She's So. So enlighten yourself and listen to them.

Aside from that.
I'm absolutely terrified.

I got accepted into Southwestern University and I have my theatre auditions for SMU and Southwestern this weekend, and it's not the auditions I'm worried about, it's something else. Something I'm not quite aware of. Knowing that my ranking went up, I wish I had applied to some schools I had not before because I wasn't top ten at the time, but now it's too late. DAMN IT.

On a side note, I feel very disconnected with school at the moment and everything it brings; all of the crap I'm involved in, I mean. And I feel like a fool. I'm not sad or anything, I just feel like I haven't been managing my time the way I should be. I wish I could re-do this senior year and start college bullshit earlier. AT LEAST I'M CONSISTENT WITH WHAT I WORRY ABOUT: MY FUTURE! yeah...

It's this time when thoughts on possibilities start crashing to me, knocking me down whether or not to pull the plug. That sentence made no sense.

You know, I could have that shrugging of the shoulders, live life by the day, no planning sort of attitude--persona, and I envy those that obtain such a carefree hold on events in their life, I truly do, because I cannot, from the bottom of my heart, allow myself to do that. When I do, I feel like a fool! A big fat fool. Disgusting. COMMAS COMMAS COMMAS, did you realize how many commas I used? I like phrases.


The notion seems so appetizing right now but I could never bring myself to go that far. Well, I could.

This is the part where my fairy godmother tells me what to do.

17 February 2009

8303955887: my Borders rewards barcode.

i wish that could happen to me, but if you rescue me, i'll never have to be alone again.
oh someday i know someone will look into my eyes and say, "hello, you're my very special kitten," so if you rescue me, i'll never have to be alone again.

13 February 2009

I'm probably going to fall asleep typing this. I'm super tired, mega tired, ULTRA tired. I spent all night vigorously (spelling error, I'm sure) cleaning and practicing my cello and eating a chocolate chip muffin over the course of three point seven hours, according to a playlist on itunes I concocted in regards to this evening.

The dumbest thing happened today.

I went to court to take care of some automobile mishaps; to get pardoned, more specifically, I suppose. But anyway, I get there and the man told me they have a policy on short skirts. My DRESS was not that short. He kindly told me I have to return on a later date and dress appropriately. I felt like a douche the rest of the day. Yay.

Too tired. Can't do it. This was pointless.

07 February 2009

i wish.

i wish i could find the perfect analogy to suffice what i cannot come to terms with. but it seems that, too, fails.

actually, you know what? that's ridiculous. there's no reason to be upset. happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy

03 February 2009


jaded, blasé, satiated, fagged, cloyed, lukewarm, mundane, predictable, prosiac, hackneyed, lackluster, nothing.

my selective heart is in this too much to be let down.